


Please, Don't Leave Me Alone

by The_Drowsy_Captain



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Other, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:34:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29120523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Drowsy_Captain/pseuds/The_Drowsy_Captain
Summary: You'd noticed it first while the two of you were training your squads together and he faltered in the air, nearly falling. That was the first time.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 111





	Please, Don't Leave Me Alone

You’d been training with your squads with Levi when you first noticed. It was less than three days until you were to reclaim wall Maria and he’d offered to train squads with you, so you would be better prepared. You had been flying quickly through obstacles with your ODM gear when you noticed one of his hooks shoot by, fully missing a wall and dropping him several feet. It was a fleeting moment, he caught himself quickly, but you noticed. 

It hung in your mind the rest of the course, even after you dismissed the squads and were left standing next to him to put away your ODM gear. He never faltered, it wasn’t as if your ever-growing concern was anything but that- concern. Or at least that’s what you told yourself each time any hint of unprofessional care for the man flared up. Normally, you’d keep quiet about these concerns, however, today your lips moved on their own as you bent down next to him to store away the final bits of gear.

Glancing over at him you noticed the heavy bags under his eyes, how he was just a hair slower than usual, how he struggled to undo the belts on his legs.

“How long has it been since you slept?” you asked tentatively, expecting to at least get a glare from him.

Instead, he simply tilted his head down to the ground. Levi speak for “I don’t want to talk about it”. Over the years of being a Scout, and another Captain, you’d become quite familiar with little signals he sent out.

With a sigh, you set your gear down- the final pieces stored away- and sat down next to him. Quietly, knowing no one was around, or at least hoping no one was, you repeated the question.

“Captain, how long?” you would call him Levi, however, you were already pushing ‘professional’ boundaries.

This time his shoulders sagged forwards ever so slightly, a motion that would be far too subtle to be noticed had it not been for the close proximity. Carefully you raised your hand to his back, resting it between his shoulders lightly.

In an instant, he’s standing, your wrist caught in his hand.  
“Don’t touch me,” he orders, shooting you a glare before storming out of the room.

Leaving you to sit on the bench for quite some time, thinking over what had gone wrong. You don’t know how long you’d been sitting there, eventually, Hange found you and dragged you off to the mess-hall. Sitting at the table with the other high-ranking officers, Levi avoided you the entire time. Even when you tried to offer to get him more tea as an apology. You got him tea anyways before heading off to your room. 

Unknown to you, Levi quietly drank the tea until everyone had left the hall. Perhaps deep down, he was hoping you’d come back to put away what you’d assume to be cold, untouched tea and give him a chance to apologize. 

Days passed since your offering of tea. You gave him space, not daring to anger him more than you already had. It ate away at you during breakfast from the uncomfortable silence that he was giving you. It wasn’t normal, the two of you usually had a conversation during meals consisting of you rambling on and on, and Levi quietly sitting there, adding in small comments. To the untrained mind, one would think Levi wasn’t even listening at all, but those who knew him best knew he hung onto every word.

However, during the two days up to the battle to reclaim wall Maria, the conversation at the table was between you and Hange, with the occasional comment from Erwin. 

The first day, you trained your squad alone, taking Eren, Mikasa, and Armin with you as well to make sure they had a rounded training with each captain incase of any plan Erwin would come up with. Secretly, you liked watching the trio as they were the kindest out of most of the scouts. Armin was always one to provide new training courses, Mikasa would usually add her own skills in, and Eren was always happy to have a lighter day than being dragged by Levi.

On the second day, you interrupted breakfast conversation to ask Hange to train with you. As she excitedly agreed, you missed how Levi had opened his mouth to speak and brushed it off by picking more food from his plate instead. Erwin however, noticed this immediately but kept quiet on the matter. Training with Hange was brilliantly helpful as her squad provided more info on titans than most so you could easily swoop around titan dummies and learn smaller details. It was particularly beneficial to your squad’s training as it was half made of new recruits. 

Eventually, the day came quickly. The scouts were loaded onto horses as you took off towards wall Maria. Despite being yelled at by Levi days prior, you kept a careful watch on the smaller man. Just to be safe, just in case he falls again, so he doesn’t run into a tree, so he doesn’t divert his squad. The reasons as to ‘why’ ran through your mind constantly as you tried to push down the dirty truth.

Because you cared for him far more than you should. Far more than you did for the others. Because you loved him. 

Your hands gripped the reigns of your horse tightly as you shook your head and focused on the trail ahead. He wants to be left alone, he made that much clear. No sense in pushing it.

* * *

Unfortunately, your plan of not pushing it faltered when you reached wall Maria and the situation became clearer. Three titans had shown up to fight in a battle to reclaim wall Maria. Erwin had made quick orders, one including sending you with Levi and your squads covering various places under other captains. The two of you against the beast titan, each of you coming from a different side in order to rush him and overpower him. 

Your heart hammered in your chest as you neared closer to the beast titan, the two of you moving quickly. He had yet to falter today so you were hoping he may have gotten more sleep in the last three days. You really needed to stop trusting him.

Taking down the beast titan went smoothly, the two of you ducking and dodging around each other until the beast crashed down. However, just as the final blow was about to be dealt, another titan crashed through and stole the man piloting the beast. 

Levi cursed next to you as the two of you took off towards the titan in hopes of reclaiming his power. You managed to reach the wall just as the titan crashed across and headed out into the desert beyond with Reiner also in its jaws.

Besides you, Levi didn’t even hesitate to follow after it using his ODM gear and you couldn’t stop yourself from trailing after him. You didn’t dare stop him but you followed in case he needed backup.

You should’ve been quicker to follow him. 

Your heart hammered in your chest as you struggled to keep pace as your ODM gear ran out of gas. Then in a split second, he faltered. His gear failed to aim correctly as he collapsed through the air towards the ground. Both of his hooks missing their marks. You dropped down after him, your heart in your throat as you prayed to every god that would listen that you could catch him in time.

The sharp pain in your shoulder was the first thing you noticed and the last thing you cared about as you crashed against a roof with Levi in your arms. You’d managed to reach him in time before he’d hit the wall but you hadn’t had enough time to catch yourselves as well. 

Frantically, you pressed a finger to his throat, checking for a pulse. When you received the faint murmur of a pulse you were back on your feet, launching yourself towards where seven people were gathered on a roof, shouting over Armin or Commander Erwin. 

You set Levi down in the middle, letting him go as quickly as you could so you wouldn’t have to touch him longer than necessary. You kept your hand behind him just in case and stayed silent as they squabbled over who to save until Levi demanded everyone leave. Your ears were the only ones to pick up the ragged shaky breath at the end.

From a distance you watched as Armin transformed into a titan, claiming the power of the colossal titan as tears streaked down your face for the commander. Erwin had been a spectacular commander and an even better friend. One of the two people you’d trusted to confide to about your less than professional feelings about Levi. He’d offered you a hug when you’d broken down, giving you fatherly advice and calming you down. Now he was gone and the scouts went from over a hundred to ten a matter of hours.

* * *

You waited on the wall as Levi, Hange and Eren went to the basement. Patiently as you checked over the few that had been injured and made sure they’d survive the trip back to the base.

You didn’t want to survive the trip back home, despite the extent of your injury being a dislocated shoulder. You’d succeeded in recapturing the wall, but you failed in everything else. The commander was dead, you didn’t kill the beast titan, and the city was in ruins- far worse than before you started. 

Yet you were cheered as heroes when you returned. The whole city up in celebration as you brought the news of the wall being fixed and reclaimed. Walking through the city to the scout’s barracks was overwhelming, yet for some reason, you couldn’t focus on the celebrating crowd as your eyes kept flickering back to Levi. Your heart was showing as you desperately tried to shove it back down. 

Despite this, you tore yourself away to head down to the hospital to get patched up. It took a few stitches and a lot of pain to put you back together, but eventually, you have worked together again thanks to the nurses. You were down there for a day, resting in recovery. Hange had come to see you, Eren, Mikasa and Armin had come at one point, your remaining squad had brought you bread. Yet you hadn’t seen Levi, it wasn’t like it mattered, he was probably mad at you still and you did touch him earlier.

Still, you were foolish to ask about his condition when the doctor was discharging you.

“Captain Levi? I haven’t seen him,” she replied confusedly, checking her records.

“There’s no way, he crashed into a building with me. Check again,” you protested, swallowing fear that had thickened your throat.

“I’m sorry Captain, but I haven’t seen him. No one has. He doesn’t come down here unless forced,” she informs you with a sigh, shaking her head.

You tuck your bottom lip under your teeth as you stand there for a moment. You should check on him, but he did tell you to not-

“If he’s truly as hurt as you say, perhaps you can take a look at him? I believe you two are familiar, he might trust you,” she suggests, holding out a medical kit to you.

“I- are you sure- I’ve only ever done-”

“Field medicine. I know, but it’s not as if we can drag him down here as much as I’d like to. He should at least be looked at.”

“You’re the doctor though, you should be prescribing the treatment not-”

“I am. You are the treatment. Now get going, Lord knows what might be wrong with him that he’s hiding.”

She shoes you out of the hospital wing quickly, the case in hand, leaving you to stand there and debate your actions. You would have to face him eventually, despite the fear bubbling up in your stomach. You weren’t sure if the nausea was nerves or a result of the medicine you’d taken.

Across the barracks, Levi Ackerman was having tea with Hange in the mess-hall. It was full of people yammering on about work and the recent mission, nine people to be exact, all eating dinner.

Levi was taking small sips each time, wincing every time he moved his arm. Hange had yet to comment, but she kept a steady gaze on him. She had been on about titans and the recent discoveries that she could now learn about thanks to Armin’s sacrifice when her sentence faltered.

You’d walked up to his side of the table, standing next to him with a stern glare trained on the man. Your usual smile nowhere in sight startled Hange enough for her to pause mid-sentence. 

“Y/N! You’re finally out of the hospital!” she cheered after a brief moment of silence.

You nodded your head, shifting your gaze to her. It softens slightly and she breathes a sigh of relief.  
“I was only there for a day Hange. I wasn’t gone for long.”

“I thought they’d treated your shoulder, what’s with the medicine cast?” she pointed out the bag you were holding in your hand.

Both of you missed how Levi tensed up, curling in on himself slightly as he tried to make himself disappear. 

“Not for me,” you grumble, your gaze turning back to Levi. You failed to notice how he was cowering as you continued, “Levi. May I speak to you in private?”

Under no certain terms did you have the right to speak to him in such a manner. You were technically the same rank as he is, yet he was slightly older and more experienced. He should’ve barked back at you, yet when he simply stood from the table, your eyes went wide briefly.

As did everyone else as you’d collected the attention of the seven others in the mess-hall. No one said a word as he trailed after you out of the hall and into the hallway. Neither of you said a word as you headed up the stairs to the top floor where the captain’s rooms were. You walked him down the hall, stopping in front of his room. 

Normally, you would brush his current attitude off. However, the way he was cowering and looking down was unmistakable. You had the world’s most deadly man cowering. Quiet quickly, your strong attitude crumbled as you opened the door.

“After you,” you whispered quietly, making sure the medical bag was far away from him.

He simply shuffled into the unsurprisingly clean room as you closed the door behind yourself. The room was identical to your own, with a large bed with white sheets, a simple dresser, and a small bathroom. 

“Is there a reason you haven’t visited the hospital wing?” you asked tentatively as you set the medical bag down on the bed.

He stayed silent, standing in the middle of the room and drawing your full attention to him. Quickly you picked up on the ragged breathing, the way he held his side, and how he was staring at the floor, just at the right moment. In mere seconds, his knees folded as he fell towards the floor. 

Once again, you caught him, breaking the order from days ago. It took a split second to get him laid out on the bed, making sure his pulse was still present.

“Captain… captain- Levi! Look at me! Breathe!” you ordered as you checked to make sure he was still alive.

Looking up to his face, you saw two slim eyes staring back at you. A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you looked back at him.

“I need to remove your shirt, okay?” you murmur, scanning him over with your eyes. 

He gives you a nod of understanding and you carefully get to work. Your eyes dart back to his face to watch for discomfort as you remove the white shirt. Thankfully there’s very little blood as you sit him up in the bed to look over his back. The damage is scraped across his back from skidding across the roof.

“This is going to hurt, but it’ll hurt more if you move. Okay?” you mumble taking out disinfectant and bandages. 

He slowly nods his head as you sit behind him on the bed. Carefully you take out any rubble that had gotten in before wiping the area down with disinfectant and cleaning out the wound. He lets out sharp breathes as he grips at the sheets.

Reaching a hand back you grab a pillow and hand it to him.  
“Here, this’ll help,” you simply instruct as he takes the pillow. He does slump forwards around it, giving you more room to work and clean. 

When you finish, you bandage his torso carefully, trying to keep the bandages from being too tight or too loose. With his back clean, you stand from the bed.

“I need to check your legs, okay?” you whisper softly, putting a hand on his lower leg. 

Once again, he nods his head, giving you no verbal reaction as you remove his pants. You do your best to avoid staring, focusing instead on the massive scrapes that train down the back of his legs.

“You okay to move to the bathroom to wash your legs off?” you ask, looking him in the eyes. “It’ll be easier than getting blood on the sheets.”

“Okay,” he finally whispers, allowing you to help him up from the bed and over to the bathroom.

You roll up the bottom of your pants so they wouldn’t get too wet as he stands in the bathtub, hands against the wall.

“Anything else besides the scrapes? You did collapse earlier,” you ask idly as you wash down the backs of his legs, the water turning red and dirt as it drains away.

He’s silent for a while, wincing at the pain every so often. You quietly clean away the blood from his scrapes, disinfecting them after the blood’s gone.

“You did well at Maria. I would’ve died if you hadn’t followed,” he finally admits, catching you off guard as you refill the cloth with disinfectant. “It’s just the scrapes from the battle… I would’ve been fine.”

“From the battle implies something more,” you urge as you help him step out of the bathtub.

He steps out, stumbling forwards as he winces from the pain in his legs. He stumbles right into your chest, leaning against you as he rests his head in the crook of your neck. You freeze for a moment before relaxing into the odd hug, setting your head down on top of his and wrapping your arms around him.

“Please, don’t leave me alone,” he whispers after a long pause, still slumped against you. “I see them, over and over again when I’m alone. It’s why Armin is here instead of Erwin, he saw them too.”

Your hand reaches up before you can stop yourself, gently petting the back of Levi’s head as you continue to stand there, collecting your words.  
“Is that why you fell?”

A yawn against your shoulder answers your question as he curls closer.

“You okay to walk or should I carry you?” you ask tentatively as you let him go slowly. “I still have to bandage your legs, it’ll be easier on the bed.”

“I can walk,” he grumbles, pulling away from you and shuffling back to the bed. You walk next to him, a hand out in case he fell down as you guide him back to the bed. 

He sits down on the side, allowing for you to wrap his legs in bandages. You bandage the cuts on his head as well as he pulls his hair back for you. When you finish, you stand up and put away the tools in the bag.

“Do you want to walk back with me to my room, or are you okay with me grabbing a change of clothes and a few things?” you ask quietly. You’re really checking to make sure that you heard him correctly earlier because you’d hate to be wrong in the way you interpreted ‘don’t leave me alone’. 

“You’ll come back, right?” he mumbles as you find yourself staring into the eyes of a scared boy rather than the cold ones of humanity’s deadliest man.

Slowly you nod your head.  
“I’ll come back,” you promise, your heart hammering in your chest as you try and interpret what he means. Nothing’s coming up.

He watches you leave the room quietly, your heart pounding the entire time. In the hall as you walk back to your room, you hear footsteps. Turning to the stairwell, you see Hange walking upstairs. She waves to you with a big smile.

“Y/N! What was all that about in the mess hall?” she asks, walking up to you.

“Oh, sorry did I worry you? I just needed to ask Captain Levi something about the mission.”

“Really? I thought it was something more. You two had been in a lovers quarrel before we left anyways.”

You stare at her, blinking slowly.  
“A… lover’s quarrel? We aren’t even dating.”

“Wait really?! I thought when you both said you loved each other that you were telling me you were dating!” 

Your brain ground to a halt as you stared back at her.  
“Both…?”

“Well yeah, everyone thought you two were together. He’s always looked at you like you were the stars or his favourite tea. That and the fact you two are always training together when you can. Or how he always listens to your conversations during meals, or how-”

“I- I need to lay down. My arms killing me,” you lie, pushing open your door.

“Oh, yeah of course. See you at breakfast?”

You nod your head as she walks off to her own quarters at the end of the hall. Stepping into your room your mind spins as you collect your things. You barely register you’re dressed in pyjamas until after you’ve put them on. It feels like a blink of any eye before you’re walking back across to Levi’s room with blankets in your arms.

A small knock alerts the man inside before you open the door carefully, shutting it behind yourself.

“You still want me to stay?” you ask, stopping at the edge of the bed. 

He’s sitting up, watching you as you set the blankets down on the foot of the bed. He inclines his head in a nod, continuing to watch as you spread them out across the bed.

“I know it’s not much, but these might help slightly,” you whisper quietly.

“You’ll help more,” he mumbles before he can catch himself, leaving the two of you to stare at each other.

A heavy silence hangs through the air until your shirt is caught between thin fingers, pulled forwards until your lips are pressed against his. You freeze in shock, unsure what to do. It’s a quick kiss before he pulls away and lets you go.

“Sorry, that was unprofessional to assume that you’d want-” he starts to apologize.

You reach forwards, resting a hand on his jaw and tilting his head ever so slightly.

“Do you want to kiss me, Levi?” you ask quietly, looking him in the eyes.

He swallows thickly before answering you;  
“Y-yes.”

You press your lips against his, shuffling around so you’re lying next to him in the bed. He’s slow, taking his time with the kiss before pulling back and resting his head against your chest. You watch him open his mouth to speak and interrupt him.

“You should sleep, we can sort it out tomorrow.”

He nods his head, allowing you to wrap the covers tightly around the two of you as he finally drifts off to restful sleep for the first time in days. You’re quick to follow, and right there if he wakes up in the middle of the night.


End file.
